Thanks for the explanation. I'm in a long term relationship but I'm sure there are benefits to not being one. I have come to the conclusion that questioning the past doesn't change the present, other than adding in a bit of anguish. Now admittedly maybe something can be learned by reviewing the past but getting depressed over it has no benefits, as far as I can tell. I haven't really questioned my sexuality so I can offer no opinion in that area. Okay, maybe once in a while I will say to myself, "Self, do you question your sexuality?" and so far I have replied, "Um, nope." I am obviously missing all these quests for the self. So many say that the quest is the thing. See how much I've lost by just jumping to the end so quickly? All those great articles riddled with angst that I could have written? Darn.
I must admit that I don't write about most of the emotions that cross my mind. I actually don't talk much about them either. For the most part I try to not dwell on them and simply let them go. Should some event appear, some door open in front of me, that some of those silly emotions seem to indicate would be enjoyable and not lead to unpleasantness or maybe not too much unpleasantness, I'll certainly think about passing through that door, and not at great length, more often than not.
Politics, film and science fiction. What about music?
I don't think you should feel humiliated about not doing well in math. I see no clear advantage to being upset about being who you are. Oh, I know some will say that it is quite marvelous to work hard on those things you don't know and to be able to overcome the obstacles and advance forward through adversity. Well, that's who they are but not really who I am.
Hm, now I'm curious why you consider living as the odd man out caused a sense of sexual agency to never develop. Um, what is a sense of sexual agency? Agency, "The ability to control resources and make decisions". Googling it turns up lots of articles about women's sexual agency and the development of sexual agency in females. Ah, there are some articles about men and sexual agency but seemingly not as many. Hm, there's an article at Scribd. The article indicates it is "not merely ... the capacity to choose, engage in, or refuse sex acts" bt also ".... the sense of oneself as a sexual being". Maybe I should read the whole article.
My frustration is certainly not much to get upset about, not much to worry about. Some time it breaks out though. I feel obliged to apologize for its wanton excessiveness or should that be wanton outbursts, or maybe not.
no subject
I must admit that I don't write about most of the emotions that cross my mind. I actually don't talk much about them either. For the most part I try to not dwell on them and simply let them go. Should some event appear, some door open in front of me, that some of those silly emotions seem to indicate would be enjoyable and not lead to unpleasantness or maybe not too much unpleasantness, I'll certainly think about passing through that door, and not at great length, more often than not.
Politics, film and science fiction. What about music?
I don't think you should feel humiliated about not doing well in math. I see no clear advantage to being upset about being who you are. Oh, I know some will say that it is quite marvelous to work hard on those things you don't know and to be able to overcome the obstacles and advance forward through adversity. Well, that's who they are but not really who I am.
Hm, now I'm curious why you consider living as the odd man out caused a sense of sexual agency to never develop. Um, what is a sense of sexual agency? Agency, "The ability to control resources and make decisions". Googling it turns up lots of articles about women's sexual agency and the development of sexual agency in females. Ah, there are some articles about men and sexual agency but seemingly not as many. Hm, there's an article at Scribd. The article indicates it is "not merely ... the capacity to choose, engage in, or refuse sex acts" bt also ".... the sense of oneself as a sexual being". Maybe I should read the whole article.
My frustration is certainly not much to get upset about, not much to worry about. Some time it breaks out though. I feel obliged to apologize for its wanton excessiveness or should that be wanton outbursts, or maybe not.