One of the criticisms Dan Savage made of The Kids Are All Right is that it doesn't show the sperm donor being integrated into the family, and he talked about how he and his husband have integrated the mother of their child into their family. I think it's a dumb criticism of the movie, but it does point out variations on the story that could be told. It also seems that a woman who brings a child to term and then adopts it out has made a whole different level of commitment and relationship with the child than a guy who makes a one-time donation of sperm to somebody he doesn't know and never sees. On the other hand, I'm not sure I understand the argument for how open adoptions make for stronger family bonds all around.
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