I was not trying to rebut anything I thought you said; I was just making that observation, another facet of the despair at our inability to prevent things like this.

No, at least without perfect hindsight I wouldn't have advised her to leave her job. You can't contort your life in fear.

The real solution would have been not to have gotten involved with a guy like that in the first place, but as it was already too late for her to do anything about that, the only value of such an observation would be to consider warning signs that might help future women.