To health in a handbasket

[randy_byers]

Turns out I don't have diabetes yet, but the doctor has put me on Lipitor for excessive levels of the naughtier varieties of cholesterol. (My good cholesterol is high too, but not high enough to compensate for the naughty. Typical worthless goody two-shoes -- I'm going to kick your useless nambypamby ass!) Going on a prescription fills me with a nameless sinking dread, and with this on top of the ongoing teeth-grinding that has resulted in a busted molar and sleeping with a night guard, I am feeling decidedly middle-aged and trapped in complex mortal dilemmas. Where did my grandkids get to anyway? I need someone to mow the lawn while I catch my breath and have another beer.

The doctor joked that if we just put Lipitor and an antidepressant into the drinking water, we'd all be a lot better off. That's a funny joke, but it's also scary, because it says we are a nation of fat, depressed people. Nuke us now, Iran, before the punchline becomes a sentence. (Oops, I hear Homeland Security at the door. I'll be right back!)

Comments

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

That's so shit - you must be one the thinnest fans of your age left!

I have the teeth grinding bad too. Today I woke up feeling tireder than when I slept and have dug out the mouth guard thing again, tho it mostly just makes me feel sick..

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

It makes you feel sick? How so? Mine just tastes like crap in the morning.

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

ER, things in my mouth make me gag (cue predictable joke..)

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

Tee hee hee. Shouldn't that be "insert predictable joke"?

[(Anonymous)]

Well, gosh, it's certainly sharpened your already well-honed wit, so it can't be all bad!

I was put on lipitor for about a month and it did not agree with me -- we argued constantly and it was no fun. Can't quite recall what the weird symptoms were, but they were weird enough for the doc to put the cabash (sp.?) on, and pull me off it. So be advised -- it's not for everyone AND it's not intended to be forever. A real heart-breaker, our lipitor is. You're just going to have to do it the natural way.

Also, let me say that visiting your livejournal on a regular basis has had the effect of making you seem farther away, not closer. You're already plenty far away, so I might have to stop reading it.

Ron Drummond

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

Interesting reaction to the LJ in general! What creates the sense of distance? Is it the revelation of my secret so-called life?

The doctor and the pharmacist both warned me about possible side-effects of Lipitor. The main one I remember is muscular achiness, as from the flu. I've been taking it for five days now without any noticeable symptoms. I'm supposed to have my blood tested in six weeks to make sure that there isn't invisible liver damage. There are allegedly other anti-cholesterol chemicals if Lipitor doesn't work for you.

I suppose one could also cut cholesterol out of the diet. What a concept!