A crow's breakfast

This morning I saw a crow eating a bag of Cheetos. Used to be that a crow had to find a crusty old piece of roadkill for a meal, but now it's Carrion brand processed Chiz Poffs instead. And it doesn't seem to be doing them any harm! They're still sleek and glossy and aggressive and agile -- except for the clubfoot crows you see limping around campus like they're just back from the gang wars. Tough birds. Let's cross the street, shall we?

But you can't help thinking that the Cheetos must be changing the crows on a cellular, or even genetic, level. In fact, the thought of crows evolving under the influence of Cheetos is scarier than a corpse with its eyes pecked out. What does not kill you ... eats you after the Cheetos kill you. Arrh!