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Family Fourth
Jul. 6th, 2010 09:22 amSo I spent the three-day weekend with my family in Central Oregon. Felt sort of overwhelmed when I got home yesterday. I don't know what all it is; maybe just a confluence of powerful emotions. My niece and her husband were there with another couple from Portland. Friday night my niece asked about Sharee, and we had a pretty emotional conversation about her. My sister is on her way to Chile for a six month stint teaching ESL in Santiago. My younger nephew flew to Paris for two weeks on Saturday. My older nephew is still on the yacht off the coast of Honduras and going on a rollercoaster about whether he wants to stick with the gig. (It's boring, the owner is an arrogant prick, welcome to the real world.) My sister-in-law is freaking out about the empty nest. We had a number of pretty intense conversations about it. My brother was sailing in a regatta in Klamath Falls but came up on Sunday. We talked about the boys and argued about politics. My parents are doing fine, but they are beginning to investigate moving into a retirement center of some sort. Lots of talk about the past, intense stories about my mom's older brother, Lester, who drowned when he was eleven, and my dad's younger brother, Russ, who died of kidney failure in his 20s, just before dialysis became available. Lots of gossip about various cousins and aunts and uncles. Lots of stories, lots of lives, the human condition.
I spent the weekend fighting a rearguard battle against feelings of inadequacy. Probably a sign that I'm not sure what I should be doing right now. Family roles are shifting. What is mine? I'm still learning.
I read Shakespeare's As You Like It for the first time, thanks to a recommendation from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ron_drummond. Shakespeare's comedies are tougher for me than the tragedies, because I often don't understand the jokes without explanations. I hope to see Shakespeare in the Park's production of this in the next couple of weeks, which will help. I want to see Rosalind in the flesh. I also finished my little fanzine article about Lemuria, which is for Rich Coad's Sense of Wonder Stories. Nice to write about something other than my usual fannish gossip. Read the latest Banana Wings on the plane down and back. A bastion of the community; I always feel that I belong.
And yet, and yet. What would I be without my uncertainty? How can you be found if you're not lost?
I spent the weekend fighting a rearguard battle against feelings of inadequacy. Probably a sign that I'm not sure what I should be doing right now. Family roles are shifting. What is mine? I'm still learning.
I read Shakespeare's As You Like It for the first time, thanks to a recommendation from
ron_drummond. Shakespeare's comedies are tougher for me than the tragedies, because I often don't understand the jokes without explanations. I hope to see Shakespeare in the Park's production of this in the next couple of weeks, which will help. I want to see Rosalind in the flesh. I also finished my little fanzine article about Lemuria, which is for Rich Coad's Sense of Wonder Stories. Nice to write about something other than my usual fannish gossip. Read the latest Banana Wings on the plane down and back. A bastion of the community; I always feel that I belong.And yet, and yet. What would I be without my uncertainty? How can you be found if you're not lost?
