Let me see if I understand this. Of the following situations:
1) You continually have the hots for them, but they don't reciprocate, so you settle for being friends; 2) You had the hots for them, but they didn't reciprocate, so your interest faded away, but you remained friends; 3) A friend of the preferred gender whom you might developed the hots for if they'd been similarly interested, but they weren't, so it never happened; 4) A friend of the preferred gender but neither of you have ever had any hots for each other, and this was obvious from the start;
I take it that 1 and 2 are "the friend zone" and 3 and 4 aren't? If so, bah on the concept. Yes, the past informs the present, but it doesn't dominate it. I don't think of my long-ago unreciprocated interests any differently in terms of unsatisfied longings than I do my other female friends for whom I've had none. In fact, for most of these, comparing them with B., I think, "Good thing I didn't wind up with her."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-02-04 05:02 pm (UTC)1) You continually have the hots for them, but they don't reciprocate, so you settle for being friends;
2) You had the hots for them, but they didn't reciprocate, so your interest faded away, but you remained friends;
3) A friend of the preferred gender whom you might developed the hots for if they'd been similarly interested, but they weren't, so it never happened;
4) A friend of the preferred gender but neither of you have ever had any hots for each other, and this was obvious from the start;
I take it that 1 and 2 are "the friend zone" and 3 and 4 aren't? If so, bah on the concept. Yes, the past informs the present, but it doesn't dominate it. I don't think of my long-ago unreciprocated interests any differently in terms of unsatisfied longings than I do my other female friends for whom I've had none. In fact, for most of these, comparing them with B., I think, "Good thing I didn't wind up with her."