Publishing vs. blogging

[randy_byers]

So I'm in the final stages of writing my Worldcon report. This is always the most difficult part of the process for me, because at this point it looks like a barrel of unappetizing sludge to my eyes. The sentences are awkward, the paragraphs are incoherent, and the arguments and observations are, frankly, stupid and reveal me for a self-centered, self-deluded, and altogether clapped-out fraud. Now, I've been through this process enough times to know that at least part of it is just psychological flak and failure of self-confidence, but of course that doesn't help me to see what changes might actually improve the damned thing. Fortunately this is intended for publication in a fanzine, and the editors of said fanzine will give me feedback so that I'm not just stuck with the confused messages from my nasty-ass backbrain.

But I really hate this part of the writing process, and I'm struck by how different it is to write for my LiveJournal. I almost never suffer this level of self-doubt when I write here, because I'm not writing for publication. It's just a fricking LiveJournal, so who cares how incoherent it is? Roll your eyes and move on to the next post, right? Which isn't to say that I don't fuss over my writing here. I frequently revise my LJ posts, even after it's not likely that anyone else will ever look at them again. But I never get to the stage of thinking, "This is just crap, and I have no idea how to fix it. I stink."

Is this why some people give up writing for publication and just blog instead?

Comments

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

Interesting.

I find writing for LJ very easy, even back when I was doing all my "serious" stuff here, because most of the time I have the damn thing written in my head before I start. Or, at least, I have the key passages worked out. And sometimes I have the jokes written and have enough faith in them that I don't bother too much about the filler. (This has led to some sloppy wording on occasion, and Drama has resulted.)

This is how I used to write for fanzines, too. And then, sometime after Shebang, I lost my mojo. Or at least transferred it over here where >50% of the audience was non-fannish and it didn't seem to matter so much if I failed.

I've been here for nearly eight years now and have no idea if I am still capable of writing for a print audience.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

You've also written for paid publication. Did that change your writing process at all? I've never had a professional editor go over something I've written. (Discounting a couple of writing classes and workshops, I guess, which are really a different situation anyway.)

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

This is complex. And a lot of people are going to hate me for this (in some cases, hate me more.)

It's funny that you bring this up, because it reminds me (inadvertently) that some people in fandom view me as a kind of filthy pro. This couldn't be further from the truth. My fanwriting and my professional journalism are connected but very different.

The professional stuff just gets done, quickly, and it's easy. People who read it will judge my research and the quality of my quotes and the brevity and elegance of my language.

My fanwriting is completely different - it's me, in the raw, without filters but not without thought. I worry far more about how it will be received. I'm laying myself on the line.

In contrast, my only real fear professionally is that I will have screwed up factually - got a figure wrong, misquoted someone, whatever.

The thing is - in spite of the attendant, integral, irrational fears surrounding both types of writing - I do find both my professional and non-professional writing to be instinctive, easy and... fun.

All of this stuff gets less stressful as I get older.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't give yourself airs! Journalists are even lower on the totem pole than filthy pros. Look at Christopher Hitchens!

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

Look at Christopher Hitchens!

Noooooooooo!

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

I think that could be it in my case.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

I may not be far behind!

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

How to write for publication without the self-consciousness that comes with writing for publication but not for LJ:

Write the first draft as an LJ post or series of LJ posts.

Then revise for publication.

I've had some success at bypassing my self-consciousness filters with this.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

That's essentially what I did with this Worldcon report, which is an expansion and revision of the long post about Worldcon that I wrote right after the convention. It didn't help me bypass the late-stage "my writing sucks" internal melodrama, alas. On the other hand, it was immensely useful in getting the project done in a timely fashion.

[trinfaneb.livejournal.com]

Based on interviews I've read, alot of novel writers suffer a similar experience when they are finished or very close to finishing a book.

It sometimes happens to me no matter what I'm writing, but I don't know why.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

So do you get that kind of anxiety about writing an LJ post? I don't remember that I ever have, although it's more than possible that I've forgotten a few times where I abandoned a post because I thought it was crap. Although sometimes that's because the post actually *is* crap.

[trinfaneb.livejournal.com]

I have felt that way about a few LJ posts, but like you said, that's mostly because they *were* crap :)

I'm much more likely to feel that way about fiction, academic, or work stuff though.