randy_byers | Publishing vs. blogging

So I'm in the final stages of writing my Worldcon report. This is always the most difficult part of the process for me, because at this point it looks like a barrel of unappetizing sludge to my eyes. The sentences are awkward, the paragraphs are incoherent, and the arguments and observations are, frankly, stupid and reveal me for a self-centered, self-deluded, and altogether clapped-out fraud. Now, I've been through this process enough times to know that at least part of it is just psychological flak and failure of self-confidence, but of course that doesn't help me to see what changes might actually improve the damned thing. Fortunately this is intended for publication in a fanzine, and the editors of said fanzine will give me feedback so that I'm not just stuck with the confused messages from my nasty-ass backbrain.

But I really hate this part of the writing process, and I'm struck by how different it is to write for my LiveJournal. I almost never suffer this level of self-doubt when I write here, because I'm not writing for publication. It's just a fricking LiveJournal, so who cares how incoherent it is? Roll your eyes and move on to the next post, right? Which isn't to say that I don't fuss over my writing here. I frequently revise my LJ posts, even after it's not likely that anyone else will ever look at them again. But I never get to the stage of thinking, "This is just crap, and I have no idea how to fix it. I stink."

Is this why some people give up writing for publication and just blog instead?