Publishing vs. blogging

[randy_byers]

So I'm in the final stages of writing my Worldcon report. This is always the most difficult part of the process for me, because at this point it looks like a barrel of unappetizing sludge to my eyes. The sentences are awkward, the paragraphs are incoherent, and the arguments and observations are, frankly, stupid and reveal me for a self-centered, self-deluded, and altogether clapped-out fraud. Now, I've been through this process enough times to know that at least part of it is just psychological flak and failure of self-confidence, but of course that doesn't help me to see what changes might actually improve the damned thing. Fortunately this is intended for publication in a fanzine, and the editors of said fanzine will give me feedback so that I'm not just stuck with the confused messages from my nasty-ass backbrain.

But I really hate this part of the writing process, and I'm struck by how different it is to write for my LiveJournal. I almost never suffer this level of self-doubt when I write here, because I'm not writing for publication. It's just a fricking LiveJournal, so who cares how incoherent it is? Roll your eyes and move on to the next post, right? Which isn't to say that I don't fuss over my writing here. I frequently revise my LJ posts, even after it's not likely that anyone else will ever look at them again. But I never get to the stage of thinking, "This is just crap, and I have no idea how to fix it. I stink."

Is this why some people give up writing for publication and just blog instead?

Comments

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

You've also written for paid publication. Did that change your writing process at all? I've never had a professional editor go over something I've written. (Discounting a couple of writing classes and workshops, I guess, which are really a different situation anyway.)

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

This is complex. And a lot of people are going to hate me for this (in some cases, hate me more.)

It's funny that you bring this up, because it reminds me (inadvertently) that some people in fandom view me as a kind of filthy pro. This couldn't be further from the truth. My fanwriting and my professional journalism are connected but very different.

The professional stuff just gets done, quickly, and it's easy. People who read it will judge my research and the quality of my quotes and the brevity and elegance of my language.

My fanwriting is completely different - it's me, in the raw, without filters but not without thought. I worry far more about how it will be received. I'm laying myself on the line.

In contrast, my only real fear professionally is that I will have screwed up factually - got a figure wrong, misquoted someone, whatever.

The thing is - in spite of the attendant, integral, irrational fears surrounding both types of writing - I do find both my professional and non-professional writing to be instinctive, easy and... fun.

All of this stuff gets less stressful as I get older.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't give yourself airs! Journalists are even lower on the totem pole than filthy pros. Look at Christopher Hitchens!

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

Look at Christopher Hitchens!

Noooooooooo!