randy_byers | Survived Christmas

Christmas with the family was great fun as usual, but shot through with wintery melancholy below the joy. 'Tis the season, eh? I taught my jock nephew the old nerd football chant my friend Don "The Glove" Palmer and I developed in high school: "Repel them! Repel them! Force them to relinquish the ball! Rah!" We ate our traditional cioppino on Christmas Eve and prime rib on Christmas. My sister, still in China, managed to send us a 500-piece Seattle puzzle via Amazon or eBay or something. (The "folk art" version of Seattle in the artwork included a Tully's but no Starbuck's.) I told my niece and her fiance that I'd be happy to conduct the ceremony at their wedding in July. I'm actually terrified, but I really want to do this for them. Time to take the bull by the horns and test my strength for them, play the role of the right reverend Ramdu -- or let it play me, let it become me. The various presents I gave seemed to go down well enough. I missed my sister, and I worry about my brother and his disappointments and frustrations. My mother was so happy to have us all around, and there's something deeply grounding in sitting around and shooting the shit with the famn-damily. We all told our favorite family stories, drawing the bonds with words and laughter. My niece described a nightmare about a man-shark with legs and arms and a shark head, and I said faux-pedantically, "So it was actually more of a shark-man." My nephew gave me a high five and said, "I love this family."

The bonds of affection were intensely felt. I'm glad it's over. I felt so brittle when I got home. I'm privileged beyond belief to have such a great family who somehow (foolishly) all think I'm the greatest too. We're all going to Costa Rica in March, and that will be more relaxed and carefree. I feel a huge pressure releasing, and new lightness in the air.

Here's to the new year, and to new adventures, new roles, and new vistas to visit!